55 Fiction - Power


After seeing around the hustle-bustle his eyes again lingered over the screen. His fingers itched to check for a new message. The love pangs were hitting him hard. The screen hadn’t glowed from past one hour.

 "Power is back. Dude!! You can charge now", called his hostel-mate.

Hioy'oy Hoi Polloi
JJJ

Comments

  1. Hmmm...nice....climax is good...but the narration not so engaging. Overall, 3 out of 5.

    PS- Am doing constructive criticism for you. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SOb SOb!!! :'(
      Keep criticising and I promise I'll bang this 55 hurdle :D

      Delete
  2. I'm afraid you will...And I am scared that you may just run me out of business :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. the feeling of love is unexplainable and the wait to read just a message is something only a person who is in love can understand...good one...!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup!!! totally incomprehensible. Love pangs can be understood by those in love only. For others it's just another bull-shit.

      Delete
  4. Good one Surbhi!
    The phone always beeps 'Low battery' when we need it the most :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah!!! I agree.
      What should I say, poor we or poor phone or just poor power :P

      Delete
  5. Pain of waiting and disappointment nicely told. Kudos!

    ReplyDelete

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