Monday, March 30, 2015

Start a New Life

"You are a dumbo. Don't even know the solution of this simple problem", shouted my teacher. All my classmates chuckled under their notebooks. I felt very bad.

"You can't even take care of your clothes. Look how dirty they look and bad they smell", complained my mother. I became upset.

"Can't you see. It was nearly an accident", yelled the stranger with a bald head. I pondered if I took wrong turn.

"Give me a break, dude. Your ideas are so boring", my manager was furious to hear me.

"Are you alive?", enquired my friend.

No, I'm half dead. I wanted to shriek out. Everyone on the earth finds me stupid, dumb, boring and even doubt on my existence. What the hell. I can't be like others. Super intelligent, quick, witty, cool, fast and flexible. No, I can't. Yes, I tried but it was suffocating. I cant fake it for not more than one day. I'm slow. I'm not autistic but you can consider me so. I have grown up listening to downcast comments of friends and foes, knowns and unknowns. And now I have turned deaf to all of them.

I have often thought if I'm normal, if I'm kindred to them. For me, I'm perfect, then why to give a hell thought to those who don't find me akin to them. Take a chill pill, let the world think what they want to and let me start afresh to leave them agape in awe of my new life. I convinced myself.

The new sun brought a new day in my life. I practiced to speak. Just like a Nursery kid, I started all over again. I was my own coach, my own mentor. I repeated words again and again to throw them out at one go. Initially I stammered heavily. I practiced more. Demosthenes became my role model. I didn't put stones in my mouth like him. But I pushed my potential to the edge. I was determined to make people hear me, my views and opinions. I struggled with my throat, made it comfortable to accommodate vowels and consonants. I rehearsed my own name like a child in front of the mirror. At first I used to broke down. How useless am I, I can't speak my own name. But I overcame this low and grim feeling by rehearsing my name with confidence looking into my own eyes. It's a different feeling to see yourself rising from a timid guy to a confident man daily. Talking to your own reflection and working on all the imperfections made me fall in love with myself more and more. 

I was changed. I changed for better. And I was happy to change. I overcame my fear and took up the prolonged task of grooming up myself into a confident guy. I began a new life. It was a fresh start. I can now talk without hesitating. I don't cringe now when I have to convey my thoughts. Confidently I present my thoughts through well formed words. Well may be the spirit of Demosthenes was with me instilling optimism in me. Who knows !!!
Anything and everything is possible. You can die twice, you can live twice. It's all upto you to start afresh beating behind all the grey odds and welcoming vibrant, cheerful life. 

This post is written for an activity by Housing.

Sunday, March 29, 2015


The sweat dripped down the chin and the tattered slippers spoke much about the day's toil. It was one another day adding to almost three years. Yes, it's since three years I'm running from pillar to post to get justice to my daughter. My love , my life ! The beast had torn her apart and I was so helpless to get her back into my life. The rapist was breathing free since three years and I couldn't breathe easy since then.  My blood boiled up with white hair rooting out. The screaming painful face of my dotty had left me agitated and I'm never calm since then. How mercilessly the scoundrel pushed himself on her, the very thought had awaken me many-a-times in the falling night. My delicate darling was withered like the soft petals of a blooming flower. And I felt the pain of her detachment more than anyone else. I wanted to shoot away the beast right there in the court room. Every delayed hearing and his more victoriously puffed up chest made me more and more restless. Today, one of the witnesses turned hostile and the strings of my case laid weak. I fumed with anger and inhumanity of the witness. He too appeared partners in crime. I wanted to blow him up right when he said 'NO'. Only I know how I'm controlling myself in the court room every time I go for one another hearing. With my back drooped down under the increasing insensitivity of the society and burden of smirky smiles of the defaulters, I hauled towards my home. 

I unlocked the door and sat exhausted on the chair. I looked around and missed the chirruping of my dotty. My lone reason of existence had left me alone. Tears welled up and I cried till I felt dizzy. All WHYs occupied my mind. Why my dotty went to the trip? Why can't he be punished? Why I approved her vacation fun? Why me? Why me? ......

The clock struck nine and I hopelessly stared at the pendulum. Moving back and forth, it reminded me of my life then and now. My gaze shifted to the painting hanging close to the clock. 'FAITH.. HOPE .. LOVE' carved by my dotty suddenly charged me up. She used to say, "Mumma!!! If you believe in something with whole of your heart and have faith in turning around the stones, then believe me, your hopes will be answered soon. Just cling to it for a little more time, just a little more time." Her words echoed in my ears loudly. My faith restored and I felt more determined to get justice to my daughter. I yearned to be with her and this very feeling of being with her TOGETHER peacefully inside the empty walls shook me to fight the battle with more vim and vigour. 

Together we resolved to fight and have faith in the better. Yes, better times are coming... just a little more push, a little more perseverance.

This post is written for activity organised for housing.

Look Up Story !

It is almost two years since we met. Everything was beautiful, everything seemed colorful. Happiness blushed and laughter accompanied. All appeared vibrant and cheerful. The different hues of a happy perfect life unfolded and splattered us with the joyous moments of never-ending days and nights. As the old had said, love makes life beautiful. Ours had indeed turned into super beautiful. From morning rush to look more charming than yesterday to awaited twilight to count stars in each others' eyes set butterflies each day. So enticing, so bewitching never appeared the regular life. But suddenly this regular had turned into a roller-coaster ride charging us up each day. All wondered how can they be at cupid's target. Even we too wondered but the arrow had struck and we were wounded in love. Flying in the sky, weaving dreams together, we lived together in a whole new world where everything seemed possible because we were together and felt the immense power of two. The duo was admired for their mutual understanding and trust, the two essential pillars of a relationship. 

Unfortunately, came an earthquake and the pillars got shattered. A little doubt, a bit of insecurity and one's ego shook the pillar. The roller-coaster ride all of a sudden came to a halt. The morning rush turned drab and evenings became lifeless. The power of two broke down. Both broke down, shattered into pieces looking at the half-broken pillars. Both of them wanted their 'togetherness' back but none wanted to remove the debris. It's often in darkness, a ray of light find its way. The overwhelming social media buzzing with daily feeds of love and breakups occupied their brains. Just then their common trait became their saviour. The Badshaah was the favourite of both. It's often when we are depressed and sunk into gloomy dark room, the history of someone we admire serves as a motivation to us. It was SRK's birthday. News channel were crying loud of his success and his famous love story. No success became a hinderance, no religion came in way, it was just their love which won all the way. They gave a thought if it has happened back then at the old time, why can't they be together now. They buckled up to remove the debris, erect the pillars in place and be together to be TOGETHER forever. 

Sometimes little stories and faith in something better are the ones you need to look up to rise high and rejuvenate the dragging life into a happy running life.

This post is written for activity organised for housing.